Life comes at you fast - Military Personality Disorder

Veterans Personality Disorder


WOW! To relate life to a recent commercial - Life comes at you fast!

(This Entry will be fairly long. I will try not to make them all this long. I know how hard it is to read such a long BLOG – But, it will be worth it. :-)

I have learned so much in the last few days about myself, the military, and just life in general.

By the way, until two days ago I had never created my own blog, I had never created a really good web site, and I had never worried about the military "trying to set me up."

Well according to the military, I should not write something like that, because that could be seen as being paranoid and really hit home with what the doctors are trying to set me up for. It is has been a long hard battle, but I am finding answers and I have realized there are many more out there who have suffered through this same thing as me.


Here is the web site I created. It is not finished yet, and mine is small, so please don't point and laugh. :-)


http://militarydoctorshurtsoldiers.com/


Here is some back history....

I am National Guard and I am hurt. I was either hurt on Drill or at some other point in time. I believe I was hurt on drill, but I was open to suggestions. I went to a civilian Doctor at first, just to see where I should go next. I had never been hurt on drill before. But come to find out, if you are hurt at work, the whole medical system shuts down on you, and you have to go through your work to have them pay for it. Well, my "work" just happened to be the National Guard.

KEEP in mind I was never about "getting any money from the government" but I did want the injury documented for the future in case the injury came up later.....

In the civilian world I did manage to get an MRI that shows I have c3 - c6 damaged in my back.

(And the whole civilian / military Doctor thing is longer - I will cover that later)

Now fast forward to military doctors - I now have in my records that I am
psychosomatic and I have Factious Symptoms.

I called the VA representative here in town and he said the military doctors are trying to set me up to put me out on a Personality Disorder. That way IF I am hurt, they never have to give me care. He told me about what was going on and a few websites to check out, and I googled the rest.

The VA REP told me that the numbers sited in the news reports are about 24,000 soldiers that have been discharged with a personality disorder and this number is actually too low. Many soldiers do not want to come forward, or soldiers are living on the streets and know nothing about what is going on, and if the news reporters could see the medical records (which they can't) most of the records are already sent to St Louis. So, the number 24,000 is thought to be grossly underestimated.

When a soldier does find out his / her rights, it takes sometimes 6 months to get copies of the records and (another paranoid fact) some items are occasionally missing from the medical records.

I spoke to this person on the phone for about 30 minutes twice and he gave me so much information it was like drinking water from a fire hose. He is so mad about this situation and for him to find out that it is still happening makes him even madder.


I will let the whole world know... If the military plans to ruin my life, bring it on! I refuse to be a victim of red tape and politics.

It may make me cry, it may make me frustrated, and it will make me mad as hell, but I will not quit. I know how it really works. I will endure some harassment, some hate, and some hard times. But, if one person can be helped from this, well good. (PS let me restate the crying part - I get really sad when something I believed in saddens me and I CRY real loud when I am VERY MAD - so there are going to be tons of tears).

I will not lie. Even with all the gung-ho in my heart, I am tired and I am very mentally weary. I may have to eventually quit. I may have to eventually hand the torch to someone else, but for the moment, I will fight a little longer. Oh yeah, then there is the whole selfish part. I will tell you, I am doing this for me. I never set out to help anyone but me. But, on the other hand, I am not going to hide what I find out. Knowledge is power, and I do not want that much power. Whatever you can learn from me to help yourself, please use it. It is free.

What the VERY funny part of all of this is, I really was not looking for any money or benefits. I just wanted to document the injury in case later in life it came up again. When I was discharged later in life this type of injury needs to be documented early. Depending on how the insurance works later in life, some insurances will not pay for injuries occurring in another role. So, you have to follow up on injuries and have them documented for future evaluation.

In my case, I really did not care who took responsibility, as long as the injury was documented as happening. Then we could figure out how it happened.

And now I am mixed in with this crime that continues to happen to soldiers everyday! (10 a day from the news reports) I guess I was almost one of those ten.

The VA Rep explained it to me this way... when I went to the clinic on post; the military Doctor saw a soldier that was hurt, he did not take the time to really ask questions. He does not even know I have not been deployed, and he does not know that I was just there to be evaluated as a possible military injury. He assumed I was trying to obtain benefits from the military, and so he started the process of making me look like I have a personality disorder. He started the chain of evidence.

(The doctor really never asked why I was there. The Doctor said more than three times that my injury was not a career ending injury. What is really interesting, I never mentioned my injury was career ending. In fact, that statement is as far away from the truth as you can think. I only wanted to get help so I could go on with my career. )

The Doctors saw a soldier who was hurt and "might" eventually receive some benefits. So, I now have the label of psychosomatic and factious symptoms.

If I had never received the civilian MRI BEFORE going to see the military Doctor, I would not have any proof that I was injured before seeing them, and I would never have a leg to stand on. You see the bad circle soldiers get caught in when referring to Factious Disorder is this;


"Factitious disorders are mental disorders in which a person acts as if he or she has a physical or mental illness when, in fact, he or she has consciously created his or her symptoms. (The name factitious comes from the Latin word for "artificial.")


People with factitious disorders deliberately create or exaggerate symptoms of an illness in several ways. They may lie about or fake symptoms, hurt themselves to bring on symptoms, or alter diagnostic tests (such as contaminating a urine sample).


People with factitious disorders behave this way because of an inner need to be seen as ill or injured, not to achieve a concrete benefit, such as a financial gain. People with factitious disorders are even willing to undergo painful or risky tests and operations in order to obtain the sympathy and special attention given to people who are truly ill. Factitious disorders are considered mental illnesses because they are associated with severe emotional difficulties."

Please read the entire description here and you will get as mad as I am!!!

http://www.clevelandclinic.org/health/health-info/docs/2800/2820.asp?index=9832

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Ok now read into this prior paragraph... If I had NOT had the MRI completed before the military doctors said I have a factious symptom, then they could have said I "REALLY" injured myself later to get a positive MRI. Thank goodness I have the prior MRI.

That is why I am not giving up. The VA rep told me that hardly any soldiers (especially active soldiers) have the evidence that I have, to show the military doctors are making this stuff up to give soldiers a bad discharge.
That MRI was completed only two weeks before seeing the military Drs and it shows I am really injured. NOW that military doctors are saying that I have factious symptoms. (BY the way, Factious Symptoms are a part of the disorder that falls in to the realm of Personality Disorders). The VA Rep is correct, the military Drs are trying to set me up for failure.

One other note;

if you do end up like this, The VA Rep advised - DO NOT go to an on-post psychologist. That is the next step in the process. It goes like this;


FIRST, you are hurt, which makes you tired, and the Doctors send you everywhere and anywhere for more and more tests. They continue to dismiss your pain and make you feel guilty about more tests. They may say things like "Well, ok we will do more tests, but only to satisfy YOU."

You are hurting longer and longer, and you have had little sleep for a very long time. You miss work because of pain, stress, being all around tired, and then that is held against you (yes it has happened to me and others I have read about).

If you are like me, you do your best with the pain and hurting you are going through, but it is not enough. You then get the speech of responsibility and accountability. Now you have pain, frustration, stress, tongue lashings from many different angles, little or no sex, and lack of good sleep; Then after a certain time frame that the Drs can see you have had it, they send you to an on post psychologist, where, of course you are crying, shouting, or just plain depressed.... WHAT do you think is going to happen at that point?

AT that point you are screwed.

REALLY DARK stuff isn't it? Sounds like Russia or China, doesn't it? BUT it isn’t! It is America and it is our Military that is doing this to us!

I know that out of 24,000 soldiers that were discharged for personality disorder, maybe a few had it.... but over 24,000!!!

I am going to try to fight this, but I have already cussed out one DR who is a Major (I am sure that will come up later), so I am not sure how far I am going to get. I will still try. I will keep a log of my career, and how all of this is affecting my life.

Please join this blog and / or my website. If you don’t totally trust bringing this public, and I wouldn’t if I were you, register in my website only with the first three letters of each name.

Also, use a very general screen name. Don’t use something like, FTBenningNCO. Use a name like HurtSoldier, or MadSoldier. Something like that is more general and you will not have to worry about someone harassing you later (Yes, I know – very paranoid tendencies will get me every time.) LOL, but is it really paranoia when someone is really out to get you?

Even the VA Rep has no idea how many veterans and soldiers are out there with military medical issues. Here you can post without you real name and maybe together we can help each other.

GOOD LUCK! And GOD Bless!